London Tonight, Raine Tomorrow
by ryanzraindrop
Summary: Sirius and Remus are a happily married couple with five children. This story chronicles the life of the Black household. Light humor. AU-James and Lily are alive and well. Summary sucks, but story is good. Please R
1. Raine's First Date

**RAINE'S FIRST DATE**

"She's not going." Sirius said, magically drying dishes and sending them to the wrong cupboards. Remus glared at him. "What?" Sirius asked indignantly. "I am her father and if I say she doesn't go, then she-"

"She goes." Remus said, staring straight at his husband. "Because I say she goes."

"Why don't I get to decide what she does?" Sirius pouted, turning toward the refrigerator and pulling a beer out of it.

"Because you get to decide what Morgan and London do. And occasionally Maple." Remus ran his finger along the inside of the mixing bowl and licked the cake mix off his fingers. "I get Juliana and Raine by default."

"But Raine's the only one going out with teenage boys." Sirius protested. "I don't like teenage boys. They're evil."

"Morgan and London go out with teenage boys." Remus said. "Morgan goes out with about ten teenage boys a week. Come here and taste this cake mix. Did I put in enough oil?"

Sirius grudgingly moved toward the counter and sampled the white mix. "Yes, honey. You put in enough oil." He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "But Morgan and London are different. They are teenage boys."

"Yes, and Raine's a girl." Remus said, beckoning a cake pan toward him. The batter began to pour itself into the pan. He tsked in his husband's direction. "Sexism, Siri?"

"No." Sirius said. "Fact. Teenage boys should have sex. Teenage girls shouldn't."

Remus rolled his eyes. "And Maple and Juliana don't have sex?"

"They have sex with girls. It isn't the same thing." Sirius protested. "I don't want Raine going out with a boy. He's just going to want her to . . ."

Remus chuckled softly. "Sirius, you're relentless. Raine's going out with Todd tomorrow and that's it. End of discussion."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "That's not fair."

"No, it's not. But we have about thirty minutes until that cake gets done. Do you want to spend that time fighting or . . ."

Sirius pounced like a puppy dog at the offer.

* * *

"Dadd-y!" Raine yelled down the stairs. "Morgan wants me to dress like a slut!" Her brother clamped his hand over her mouth and dragged her bath to the mirror.

"Lipstick and a miniskirt don't constitute as dressing like a slut." Morgan said, digging through his make-up bag for some more purple eye shadow. "Honestly, Ray. You have the best body. If you're not going to show it off, I'll trade you."

"Thanks, but I'll keep my breasts." Raine said as her older brother started to attack her eyelids again. "Daddy! Morgan's trying to get me to switch bodies again!"

Remus appeared in the doorway with a crack. "When are the two of you going to start acting your age? Raine, stop screaming. You'll use your voice before you make it out of the house."

Remus took a tissue from the countertop and licked it, taking Morgan's place. "Morgan, I thought we decided that too much purple eye shadow is a bad thing." He smiled as he wiped at Raine's eyelids.

The boy through his hands in the air, drama queen style. "I'm a visionary. Nobody else understands the future of cosmetics. You're all doomed to die in blue eye shadow and nude lipstick!" He sat down on the edge of the bathtub. "She wanted to wear jeans, Dad." Morgan spoke the word as if it were the most vile of curses. "Nobody wears jeans on a date. Unless they have fat legs. Or they're male."

Remus shook his head and smiled. "You look very pretty, Raine." He smoothed out her hair. "Is a skirt really that bad?"

The fifteen year old narrowed her eyes at her father. "Yes. Skirts are evil. If men see your legs they want to sleep with you."

"Stop listening to your father." Remus said kissing her cheek. "Now, go downstairs and let him look at you." He turned at looked at the youngest son. "Morgan, no more purple eye shadow."

"Dad!"

"She looks better in green."

* * *

First I had been London. London was the oldest, followed by Juliana. Then had come Morgan and Maple, twins. Raine had been their little surprise. London was twenty now and Juliana would turn nineteen next month. Morgan and Maple would turn sixteen this year. Raine had celebrated her fifteenth not more than a week ago.

Sirius shook his head. They grew up so fast. Soon he and Remus would have none left. And Sirius was well past the age to be having any more children.

London had brought home his first boyfriend when he was fourteen. Remus forced Sirius to set an 'open door' policy. ("But they're boys. They're going to do it anyway." "Not here, they're not.")

Juliana waited until she was sixteen to bring home a girlfriend. ("Dad, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm gay." Remus raised his eyebrows. "So?")

Morgan brought home his first boyfriend when he was thirteen. ("Daddy, isn't he the cutest?" "I thought you were dating someone named Seth." "That was last week.")

Maple had brought home a girlfriend at fifteen. ("Yeah, I'm gay, too." Sirius laughed. "Really?")

Raine would have her first date tonight, but her 'coming in' happened when she was twelve. ("Daddy, ummm . . . I'm straight." Sirius paused for a minute, then shrugged. "Can't blame you for wanting boys instead of girls, honey." "Sirius!" "What?")

* * *

Now, Raine came down the stairs for her first date, dressed in a blue miniskirt and a black tankini. "Daddy, how do I look?" Sirius stood up motionless, then suddenly lurched for the desk drawer. Raine put her hands up in front of her face. "No, Daddy."

Sirius held the camera up to his eye. "Raine, one picture." The girl shook her head. "Raine Rose, put your hands down right now."

The girl lowered her arms slowly. A smile adorned her perfect face. "Who's bright idea was it to name me Raine Rose again?"

"That would be your father." Remus said coming down the stairs. "It's better than Raine Lily." He tweaked his daughter's nose. "He and Lily were pregnant at the same time. What more could you expect?"

Sirius snapped a photograph as the doorbell rang. "That's Todd." Raine said, smoothing out her skirt. "How do I look?"

Sirius blinked. "I forgot to ask . . ."

"Between bitching and moaning." Remus muttered.

"I heard that." Sirius growled. "Is Todd magic or Muggle?"

Raine's eyes widened. "Oops. Umm . . . I'll stall him." She hurried for the door. "Coming!"

Remus yanked out his wand. "Yeah." Sirius said sarcastically. "Get rid of magic with magic. No wonder I love you so."

Remus glared at him. "Can you think of a faster way, your majesty?" He did several banishing and concealing charms and quickly shut the doors to the rest of the house. "Honey?" he asked, trying to sound calm. "Aren't you going to bring your date in?"

Raine entered with a brunette man with a androgynously sculpted face. He stood two inches taller than Sirius and looked to be two years older than London. "Guys? This is Todd Lincoln. Todd, these are my parents: Remus and Sirius." Raine's fathers shook hands with the man who looked to be her date.

"Drink?" Remus asked, trying to cover up for Sirius' dagger eyes. His own weren't doing much better.

"Actually, the show starts in a half hour and we have a twenty minute drive." Todd said. "Right, RayRay?" He kissed the girl's temple. "What time would you like me to have her back by?"

"Eight." Sirius said.

Remus forced a laugh. "Raine doesn't have a curfew. Just make it reasonable." He ground his heel into his husband's foot. "Have fun."

Todd nodded and lead Raine to the door, kissing her cheek and saying something softly that made her laugh. "Will do."

* * *

"See?" Sirius said, eyes wide and on fire. "I'm right. I'm always right! She shouldn't have gone out with him. How old is he anyway? Twenty-five?" He paced the kitchen nervously.

Remus forced a smile. "I bet I know someone who knows." He stuck his head out the door and into the hall. "Morgan Black! Come here right now!"

It took about three seconds for the fifteen year old to dash into the kitchen. "What?" the blonde asked. Two sets of eyes glared at him. "I didn't do anything!" Morgan protested. "I swear."

"How old is Todd?" Remus asked, crossing his arms. Morgan whistled softly. "What the hell does that mean?"

Morgan blanched. "I guess you guys met him then."

"No." Sirius said sarcastically. "We're just asking for the fun of it. Yes, we met him."

Morgan nodded. "He'll turn twenty-one next week. I-I think I should g-go clean my . . . umm . . . room. That's it. Room."

"Twenty-one?" Sirius yelled. "He's twenty-one? She's fourteen! How could you let her go out with a guy that's seven years older than her? She's barely old enough to go on dates, let alone go out with a man that's older than London!"

Morgan tried to shrug. "I . . . really can't . . ." his voice trailed off. "I really can't tell her that, Dad."

Remus glared at him. "And why would that be Morgan?"

"It would be hypocritical." Morgan muttered.

"Because . . ."

"Remember Mark?"

"Possibly."

"He was twenty-three."

"What!"

* * *

Sirius and Remus sat on the couch side by side, arms crossed and feet on the coffee table. "So Morgan's grounded . . ." Sirius began.

"Indefinitely." Remus said, gritting his teeth. "I can't believe he would date someone who's twenty-three. How can men that age want to go out with . . . with . . . children?"

"They lied." Sirius reminded him, leaning his head on the other man's shoulder. "At least they didn't shag."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Because that makes it better, Sirius."

"It does."

Remus turned and kissed his husband's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The two men were asleep when Raine arrived home. The raven-haired girl shook her head and set her purse down, grabbing a blanket off the back of an easy chair. She shook it out and covered her parents up. "Night." she whispered, kissing both of them on the forehead.

"You're grounded." Remus whispered, his eyes opening slowly.

"I know." Raine said, with a slight nod. "But don't yell at me tonight, okay? Daddy's sleeping."


	2. Wednesdays

Chapter Two: Wednesdays

Wednesdays are 'dinner nights' at the Black house. Sirius and Remus get the kids to cook something more than chocolate chip cookies and toast. London and Juliana come home. Maple and Morgan don't schedule dates. Raine runs across the street at seven twenty five sharp to get James, Lily, Harry, and Violet. Between the five of them, six or seven pans make it across the street. Everybody sits down to eat at seven thirty. Nobody leaves until at least eleven.

* * *

Maple was hopping around the kitchen with a bag of flour in her hand. "Whadja do? Whadja do?" she asked Morgan and Raine, hoping the two of them would give up more than the cornbread recipe. No such luck.

"Maple, knock it off." Sirius said, relieving her of the flour and handing it to his husband. "Do you need a measuring cup?" he asked, stealing Raine's. "You were done using that weren't you, honey?"

Raine smiled and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Daddy. Why don't we use magic to cook?"

Remus laughed. "Because your father doesn't know how to cook with magic. Last time he tried, we had eggs stuck to the ceiling for a week."

"Why didn't you use a cleaning spell?" Maple asked, throwing noodles into a pot on the stove.

"Because we were fifteen years old and on summer holiday." Remus answered. "And my mother would have killed me if I had told her. When she finally figured it out, she assumed it was your Aunt Martina and let it go. Butter."

Maple reached across the table and handed it to her father. "How did you do magic without getting caught?" she asked innocently.

Sirius grinned. "You're not getting any ideas that easily, May." He reached out and ruffled her hair, the four on his hand showing up very well in his daughter's brown hair.

"Dad!" Remus leaned in and kissed his husband on the mouth, lingering for a second. May threw her hands up in the air. "Get a room." Sirius smiled through the kiss.

* * *

"Please?" Morgan begged, getting down on his knees and hugging Raine's legs. "Please, Ray? Please, please, please?"

"Dad-dy!" Raine yelled in her typical demeanor. "Morgan's trying to dye my hair again!"

"Morgan, stop trying to dye your sister's hair." Remus hollered up the stairs. "Dye your own."

"But Dad said I couldn't dye mine until school started again." Morgan protested.

"I overrule that decision." Remus answered. "Go dye your hair." He started up the stairs as Morgan dashed into his bedroom search for hair potion. Raine was attacking her own wet hair with a brush. In the room next to Morgan's, Maple was pinning up more posters of Merlin's Robes. (The five guys who ran around the stage in torn robes and sang off key were the new craze of the wizarding world.)

He walked to the oak door at the end of the hall. Sirius was lounging on their bed rereading Norma Vance's newest gay romance novel. He looked up and put the book down. "What's wrong?" he asked, concern in his voice.

Remus smiled. "Nothing. I just put the pie in the oven." He flopped down on the bed beside Sirius. "It's our anniversary day after tomorrow."

"I know." Sirius said uncertainly.

"No, you don't." Remus said, grabbing his husband's hand and kissing it. "That's why I told you. You can't remember dates of anything."

Sirius stuck out his bottom lip, working the pout for all it was worth. "I try." He laid his head on Remus' chest.

Remus ran his fingers lightly through Sirius' hair. "And this is why I love you so."

Sirius looked up and smiled impishly. "You love me?"

Remus snorted. "I hope so. I had five children with you, Siri." Sirius reached up and pulled his husband down for a passionate kiss. "Another reason I love you." Remus breathed when they came up for breath.

"And what's that?" Sirius fell back on the bed, pulling Remus on top of him.

"You're damn good in bed."

Sirius smiled. "That's a good reason."

"A very good reason." Remus agreed.

* * *

"How did you get American stations on that radio?" Maple asked as Raine turned up a country station.

"I'm a genius." Raine said, sticking out her tongue. "Everybody says, 'save a horse, ride a cowboy'."

"Not that much of a genius." Morgan teased, coming downstairs with bleached white hair. "You are listening to Yanks' music, after all. But I wouldn't mind saving a horse and riding a cowboy."

"Your sister's too young to hear that kind of talk." Sirius said, coming down the stairs in jeans and one of Morgan's tee shirts.

"Hey, that's mine!" Morgan said at the same time Maple said, "Raine's the one who put the music on the radio."

"Yes, I know this shirt's yours, Morgan. But I bought it, so I can wear it. And Raine, do you really have to broadcast American channels through our radio?" Sirius asked, tweaking his youngest child's nose.

"Daddy, I know what it means. I did go out with a twenty-one year old, you know." Raine dashed out of the room with a huge grin on her face and her long hair blowing behind her.

"So that's what she did!" Maple yelled. "Raine! Wait up!" The brunette ran after her sister. "Was he hot?" Morgan and Sirius heard her yell.

"Does she really care if he was hot?" Sirius asked his son.

Morgan shook his head. "No. She's just going to brag to all her friends that her baby sister managed to get out of the house with a twenty-one year old male in tow." There was a knock on the door. "I'll get it."

He came back in a minute later with Lily. The redhead walked straight up to Sirius, her eyes wide. "Is it normal for him to have two dates in one night, if one's with a girl and the other one's with a boy?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Yes. Ask Morgan."

"Well, is it normal for these to fall out of his pockets when he's leaving the house?" Lily held up a small plastic packet.

"If he's dating a Muggle, then it's probably very normal." Sirius said.

"I don't know if he's dating a Muggle!" Lily shrieked hysterically. "It changes every night. Sometimes I'm not even sure what sex they are, let alone if they're having it!"

Morgan watched the two adults intently. "Well, did James give him the talk yet?" Sirius asked, taking the condom from Lily and examining it with mild interest.

"Two years ago." Lily said. "The same time you gave it to Raine, remember?"

"Yeah, that's right." Sirius recalled. "Look, sweetie. Sit down, I'll get you a drink. He turned his head toward the stairs. "Remus?"

"Babe?" Remus appeared at the top of the stairs in a pair of jeans with a towel around his neck.

'Lily.' Sirius mouthed.

Remus nodded. "I'll be right down."

When Sirius turned back around, Morgan was sitting next to 'Aunt' Lily on the couch. ". . . if he needs a steady boyfriend, I'm sure"

"Morgan, shut up and go outside." Sirius said, pointing to the door.

"Da-ad!"

"There's a cute guy smoking on the street corner." Morgan was gone in seconds. Sirius shook his head and poured Lily a glass of wine. He sat down beside her on the couch and handed her the crystal. "He's got strange ideas about how to help, but he tried."

Lily smiled. "He acts like you." She took a sip of the chardonnay.

"Me?" Sirius asked, mock offended. "Excuse me, but I never remember offering to date people's sexually hyperactive sons."

"No," Lily admitted, "but when you found out what a bitch Petunia was, you did suggest a 'good snog' might help."

Remus sank into an armchair and poured his own glass of wine. "And you and James wonder what I see in him." he teased. "Okay, Lil. What's up?"

"James thinks I'm being silly, but I just don't think it's normal for Harry to sleep with every boy or girl he meets." Lily explained. "I mean, does Morgan?"

Remus shook his head slowly. "No. Morgan just sleeps with the boys."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You." She shook her finger at him. "You and you." She pointed at Sirius. "You and you and James. You'll be the death of me."

Raine came bursting in through the front door trying not to laugh. "Lily, Uncle James says you need to come home because the stove's on fire and Harry's gotten himself and a girl pregnant."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Go tell your Uncle James to kiss my arse."

Raine's eyes lit up. "Will do." She took off before Remus could protest the use of language.

"I never though you would be teaching my daughter so swear." he told Lily.

The redhead grinned. "Nah. Don't give me that much credit. Sirius is the one who taught her how to swear. I'm just encouraging it."

* * *

Dinner started at six thirty. Lily and Harry were refusing to speak to each other, although Morgan and the latter were talking rapidly in hushed tones. Remus had a fairly accurate idea what about.

Raine had refused to sit between Morgan and Maple. Maple was continuing to pester her about Todd and Morgan wouldn't talk about anything but sex. So she was now sitting between James and Sirius. Pouting.

"If your lip sticks out much farther it's going to stay that way." James teased. "Aww, c'mon Ray. Turn that frown upside down." He poked her.

"You sound like your wife." Rain muttered, poking him back.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Lily said, handing Maple the chicken casserole. Her eyes lingered on her son for a moment before Violet got her attention.

"Momma, Kendra's having a sleepover tomorrow night. Can I go?" Lily nodded dismissively.

London was skipping on the carbs and drinking ice water instead of beer while Remus was trying to convince him to eat more than a salad. "Why are you on a diet?" he demanded. "You have your father's bone structure. You don't need to lose weight."

London rolled his eyes and handed Juliana the plate of rolls their father was trying to convince him to eat. "I'm not dieting. I'm maintaining my weight." he said in a low voice so Sirius wouldn't hear. "I got this pair of leather pants for our new gig and if I gain any weight, they won't fit." Remus moved to tap Sirius on the shoulder. "Don't tell Dad." London protested. "He's just going to give me another lecture and tell me not to wear pants if they don't fit."

"And he's right." Remus said. "Don't wear them if they don't fit."

"But they do fit." London pointed out. "Barely."

On the other side of London, Juliana was arguing with her father. "So she went on a date with a twenty one year old. She obviously came home safe with her virginity still intact. Right, Ray?"

Raine blushed scarlet and nodded. "Yes."

"See?" Juliana said. "No harm, no foul." She passed Lily the potatoes. "You never got mad at me for dating Sarah."

"That's different." Sirius said, taking a bit of the lasagna.

"How?" Juliana challenged.

Remus poured himself more wine. "Because your father's something of a . . . .sexist is the wrong word." He paused thoughtfully as everybody listened in. "He thinks it's okay for boys to sleep with boys and girls to sleep with girls, but under no circumstances should a teenage girl sleep with a boy."

Sirius glared at his husband. "I never said that."

"Yes, you did." Remus said with a slight smile on his face. "But I forgive you." He held up his glass. "Cheers."

* * *

"Lily's being overdramatic." James said with an obvious fondness. "I told her it's normal for teenage boys to have sex. A lot."

"He's fifteen." Remus reminded him.

"And how old were you two when you started sleeping together?" James asked, eyebrows raised.

Sirius choked on laughter as Remus glared at him, then turned back to James. "That's different. A monogamous sexual relationship is different than sleeping with another person every night of the week." he said, trying to keep his voice calm as Sirius ran his fingers along the nape of his neck.

"Okay." James admitted. "You two are a bad example. You've been together since you were twelve. But remember me in school? Before Lily and I started dating?"

Sirius grinned. "You mean when you were just an idiot as opposed to a whipped idiot?"

James made a face. "Yeah. That's what I was referring to." he said sarcastically. "no. Remember all the girls I dated?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "No. You dated them? I thought they were just your study partners."

James chuckled. "Look, the point is that I turned out just fine. Married, two kids. There's nothing to suggest Harry will be damaged for life."

"Except that Lily's going to kill him." Remus pointed out.

"Nah, she wouldn't kill him." James said. "They're not talking."

* * *

"So . . ." Juliana began, reapplying her lip gloss and looking at Raine in the mirror. "Was he worth it?"

"Not really." Raine admitted, playing with her toes. "He was kind of an arse. But he was cute."

Juliana smiled. "Take it from a pro. Next time, tell them you're coming to visit me. Floo to my flat and then you can Floo wherever you're going."

Raine smiled, displaying two rows of white teeth. "Will do."

* * *

Lily sat down beside her son on the couch. "Morgan." she said, trying to collect herself. "Can you give Harry and I a moment?" Morgan nodded and went across the room to fight with his twin sister over the last piece of pie. "You're grounded." Lily said softly, looking into the boy who had her own green eyes, but her husband's looks. Sometimes it was unnerving to try and ground someone who looked so much like James.

"For what!" Harry demanded. "You can't ground me just for having sex! I have rights, you know."

Lily stared at him, trying not to scream. "I can ground you. I'm your mother."

James stood up, walking toward the pair of them. Remus grabbed his arm. "Wait a second." he whispered. "Just see how she handles it. You can discuss it at home later."

Harry stood up and Lily followed suit, although Harry was two inches taller and it didn't do much in the way of intimidation. "No." he snapped. "I'm not." Then he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house.

Morgan followed him. "Here." Harry looked up and accepted the cigarette, letting Morgan light it for him. "You know you shouldn't have done that. James would have talked Lily out of grounding you. Now he's just going to be ticked."

"She can't ground me just for having sex. God!" He took a long drag of the cigarette. "Why can't she be like Sirius and Remus? Neither one of them care who you sleep with."

Morgan bit back a smile. "Actually, they do. But they're smart enough to realize that I'm just going to sneak out of the house if they don't let me use the front door."

Harry glared at him. "And I'm not?"

Morgan shrugged. "I don't know. Why are you sleeping with so many guys? And girls?" he added as an afterthought.

"Why do you sleep with so many guys?" Harry fired back.

Morgan put out his cigarette and lit another one. "I don't sleep with most of them." he admitted softly. "Usually it's just kissing and stuff. I probably sleep with one out of five."

"Why?" Harry asked. "Why do you let everyone think that you sleep with all of them if you don't?"

"I don't care." Morgan said. "Besides," he reached up and ruffled the taller boy's hair, "I probably will end up sleeping with them. Remember, I date ten guys a week. That's sex about twice a week."

"I sleep with everyone." Harry said, putting his cigarette out. "And I don't care."

Morgan held out his cigarette and let Harry take a drag off of it. "Yeah, you do." he contradicted. "You're not that good of a liar."

"And why would I care?" Harry snapped.

Morgan smiled and kissed his cheek. "Because your Mum's paying more attention to Violet instead of you." He turned to go back inside, but Harry caught his wrist. "Wh-"

A kiss cut off the rest of his question.

* * *

Don't worry! It's still comedy, but you need conflict for ANY story! But hey. Let me know if it should be a relationship or what. Okay? 


	3. Once Upon a Bleach Blonde

Chapter Three: Once Upon a Bleach Blonde

Morgan smiled as the kiss broke. "I don't know how you managed to get so many dates. You're a really bad kisser." he teased.

"Well, maybe you can teach me." Harry said, heat rising up in his voice.

Morgan grinned. "I think I can handle that."

Inside, Raine turned away from the window as Morgan and Harry started kissing. She closed the curtains and went back into the living room, a little worried and a little happy.

* * *

"I'm going to spend the night at Julian's tomorrow." Raine said the next morning at breakfast. "Maple and Morgan, too."

"There's only one problem." Remus said, pouring himself another glass of coffee. "No." he said as Sirius tried to pass him a brown bottle. "I think you're the only person in the world who laces your coffee with bourbon."

"What's the problem?" Raine asked, trying to bring her father's mind back to the present.

"Two of you are grounded." Remus reminded her.

"Forever." Sirius added.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Your father's being a little dramatic. But it's a four week minimum."

"Dad, it's for your anniversary. So you guys can have a little fun without us." Raine said, crossing her fingers under the table. "We'll be at Julie's all night."

Sirius snorted. Remus remained silent, obviously thinking. "You're lying." Sirius accused his daughter, a smile on his face. "So the flyer we found for Klub Kat Eyz opening tomorrow is a strange coincidence?"

Raine tried to look confused. "Klub what?"

Remus fought a smile. "You can go to Juliana's tomorrow." Sirius looked at him open-mouthed. "We'll ground you an extra week for whatever it is you have planned."

Raine's eyes widened. "B-But . . ."

Remus kissed the top of her head. "Just because we're adults doesn't mean we're stupid, Ray. Go clean your room."

As the raven-haired girl exited the room, Sirius glared at his husband. "You're letting the three of them go to a club?"

"Four of them." Remus said, leaning against the wall and taking a drink of his coffee. "I'm sure Juliana's going with them." Sirius crossed his arms and started muttering things at the table. Remus sat down beside him and kissed his cheek. "They'll be fine, Sirius. Meanwhile, we get the house to ourselves for our anniversary." Sirius bit the inside of his cheek, a sign that indicated he knew his husband was right but he wasn't going to say anything of the sort. "If one of them gets pregnant, I'm blaming you."

Remus grinned. "Fair enough." He leaned in for a kiss as Maple entered the kitchen.

"Ugh! Get a room!"

* * *

"Fine." Raine said, a small smile on her lips. "Bleach blonde."

Morgan dropped his toothbrush. He threw his arms around his younger sister and kissed her cheek. "Oh, I love you so much! This is going to look so good, I promise." He ran out of the room. "Don't go anywhere!"

Raine shook her head as she wiped toothpaste off her cheek. "It's not that bad." she said to her reflection. "Daddy can always change it back."

Morgan returned with a bottle in one hand a brush in the other. "You are going to look so good with blonde hair, Ray. I swear." He grinned. "If you let me pick your outfit I bet you can get a guy to-"

Raine smacked him upside the head. "I don't want a guy to . . . yeah." She turned back to the mirror, a strange look on her face. "I don't plan to do anything in a club, Morgan. A bed with rose petals . . . maybe. Not a club."

Morgan rolled his eyes. "You are such a prude, Ray, but I love you anyway. Do you know how many gay guys are going to be at this club? This is going to be great."

His eyes grew a shade lighter, a tell tale signal that meant he was lying. Raine opened her mouth to comment on the scene she had witnessed the night before, but closed her mouth. If Morgan didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to bring it up. "Why don't we cut it, too?" she asked, pulling at her hair.

Morgan looked like he was going to fall to his knees and worship her.

* * *

First it had been London. He had dyed his hair the day after he turned sixteen. His brunette hair had been dyed black and he came down the stairs dressed in the same color. "What did you do?" Remus demanded. London had grinned and explained that no rock star had brown hair and brown eyes. ("No offense, Dad.")

Morgan had dyed his hair the day after London did. Remus nearly had a heart attack. ("London's sixteen. You're twelve. I'm not allowing it. Go change it back." Sirius smirked. "And what are you smiling at?" "You.")

Juliana had never dyed her hair, although she did let Morgan use her as a guinea pig for black red highlights one Wednesday night. Maple usually dyed her hair day-glo pink or blue for a night and then warped back to a brunette.

Now Raine, the girl who refused to wear heels with her jeans, was being transformed into a bleach blonde. Morgan was so proud.

* * *

"It's almost white." Morgan said, enviously. Six inches of Raine's hair littered the bathroom floor. "And you have breasts! It's not fair!"

"Look on the bright side." Raine said. "If you had breasts, none of your dates would want to go out with you anymore."

Morgan stuck his tongue out. "Touché. Now help me clean up this mess."

* * *

All the blood drained from Remus' face as he clasped a hand to mouth and fell back onto the couch. Sirius stood up, eyes wide.

"Doesn't she look adorable?" Morgan asked, grabbing Raine's arm.

"What happened to your hair?" Remus asked in a choked voice. Then he turned his attention to his son. "Morgan, I told you that you can't force people to get a make-over."

"No, Daddy. I wanted to." Raine said, running a hand through her hair. Her black hair that used to hang midway down her back was now a platinum, layered, shoulder-length mass of strands that Morgan had taken the opportunity to style. "Change isn't always bad." She was wearing a denim miniskirt, knee high boots, and a spaghetti strapped top.

"I don't remember buying you that outfit." Remus finally said, trying his hardest to remain calm. He couldn't ground for everything the other four had done.

"The boots are mine, the shirt's Maple's, and Morgan made the skirt in, like, ten minutes." Raine said, her painted lips smiling. "So . . . how do I look?"

"Like a t-"

"Very pretty, honey." Remus said, cutting of his husband's comment. "But you're grounded. Where are you planning on going in that outfit?"

Raine thought for a moment and then looked at her brother. "Across the street." they said in unison.

* * *

"We can't ground her." Remus said after Raine and Morgan had left. "London, Maple, and Morgan all dyed their hair. Juliana and Maple both dressed like that. We can't do anything."

Sirius glared at him over through the hair that had fallen in his face. "Why do we have to be fair?"

"What are you going to ground her for, Sirius?" Remus asked, sitting back down.

Sirius pouted. "I _told_ skirts were evil."

Remus chuckled. "Yeah. I told her to stop listening to you."

"And see what happens when she doesn't listen to me?" Sirius demanded, collapsing in defeat. "So she has blonde hair and she's wearing a miniskirt."

"And go-go boots." Remus added.

"And go-go boots." Sirius agreed, groaning. "I told you girls were a bad idea."

Remus smiled. "London and Morgan aren't much easier." he pointed out. "You almost had a heart attack when London dyed his hair."

Sirius crossed his arms and snorted. "Oh, and you didn't almost have a hernia when Morgan dyed his?"

* * *

"Be good." Remus said to Maple, Morgan, and Raine as the three of them prepared to Floo to Juliana's. The suitcases had gone the night before despite Morgan's protests. ("What if I change my mind? What if tomorrow isn't a green day? Da-ad!")

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek. "Don't do anything stupid." he said through gritted teeth, then succumbed to hugging his three children. He slipped a package in Raine's pocket. "Be careful, honey."

* * *

"Condoms." Raine said in Juliana's living room, giggling. "Daddy gave me condoms." She held the square packet toward the light. "What does he think I'm going to do?"

"Obviously he thinks you're going to-"

"Morgan." Juliana said warningly. "I think that was a rhetorical question. Obviously Ray knows the answer." She lit a cigarette and gave into pleading eyes, handing one to Morgan. "If Dad finds out, I know nothing."

Morgan pulled a lighter out of his pocket. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"So what time are we supposed to be at this club?" Juliana asked.

"Nine." Morgan said, exhaling. "I know the bouncer. There shouldn't be any problem getting in."

"How well do you now this bouncer?" Juliana asked, an eyebrow raised.

Morgan raised his own eyebrows. "Do you really want to know the answer to that question, sis?"

Juliana thought for a moment. "No, not really." she admitted. "I'm going to take a shower. You three don't wreck my flat or you're dead."

* * *

Morgan attacked Raine's hair at seven 'o clock sharp. "Curls, curls, curls." he said in a singsong voice. "Curls are going to be _so_ in next season, Ray. You're going to be two steps ahead of this year's crowd. And you're going to wear red. Red's the color of-"

"Prostitutes?" Raine asked.

"No." Morgan said, glaring at her. "Sex. You are going to look _so_ sexy. All the guys are going to be tripping over themselves for you. And all the gay ones will be looking for me." He giggled.

Raine bit her lip. "So . . . you're not dating Harry?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Morgan dropped his hairbrush on the bathroom floor. "What do you know about that?" he asked. "Raine?"

The fake blonde bit her lip and remained silent for a minute. "I saw you two kissing in front of the house." Raine finally admitted. Then suddenly, the frustration she hadn't know she felt, burst out of her. "You know you shouldn't have done that. You're around him all the time. It's going to be so weird now. How could you guys be so stupid?"

There was no expression on Morgan's face. "You really think I'm a slut, don't you?" he asked.

"You sleep with everybody." Raine said softly.

Morgan managed a smile. "Except Harry." he said. "Turn around so I can curl the back."

"But I saw you two kissing." Raine protested. "Are you saying I'm seeing things?"

"It would help explain how crazy you are." Morgan teased. "What you saw is all that happened. Now turn."

"And you left it at that?" Raine asked in disbelief.

"Obviously." Morgan laughed. "Trust me, if I had slept with that boy the world would know. I can't keep secrets that good to myself. And Harry is _fine_."

Raine rolled her eyes and turned around.

* * *

Sirius slid out from under the sheets and kissed the lips of his husband's limp body. "Good enough?" he asked, a naughty smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Shut up." Remus breathed, pulling him down for another kiss. "Happy anniversary, Siri."

"Happy anniversary, Remi."

* * *

The four teenagers were standing outside Klub Kat Eyz. "Ray?" Juliana asked. "C'mon."

The fifteen year old allowed her sister to pull her into the nightclub. But she could have sworn she saw a very familiar boy with black hair and green eyes waiting in line.

* * *

I'm hoping to start including more of Maple in the next chapters, but I'm having difficulty making her character more than a lesbian sleep around. ;)

I got the name of Klub Kat Eyz from another one of my fics. When I'm famous, I think I might have to name a club or a fashion line that.

Next chapter is called KLUB KAT EYZ and we get to get inside the club. Raine gets a love interest (TWIST!), more Harry and Morgan, and definitely some grounding.

Here's a little preview:

_Harry nodded. "Let's go inside. I need to find someone with pills."_

_"What are you doing hitting on me? And why is your hair brown? And why are you here? And why-"_

_"What on earth is Raine doing?"_

_Morgan gave a lopsided smile. "I hope she brought Dad's present."_

* * *

Okay, half of these probably are what you think, half are probably very misleading, and half of them are . . . Well, chapter four's almost up so you'll know soon!

Do you guys think someone besides Raine should find out about Morgan and Harry? If so, who and what should their reactions be?

Oh, and someone commented. Sirius was NOT going to call his daughter a tramp. He was going to call her a tart. He's not THAT mean. ;)

Luvverzz,  
Mrs. Malfoy/Black, aka Dru


	4. Klub Kat Eyz

_THANKZ to Cassandra, MoonyNZ, NayNymic, and hornofgondor2! Reviewz mean the world to me because I am a starving artist and they are my food. Without them I go hungry! So thankz!_

Chapter Four: Klub Kat Eyz

Raine was in a corner of the club, drinking a beer and doing a lot of nothing. Six or seven guys had asked her to dance, but each had been greasier and uglier than the last. The miniskirt and halter top Morgan had put her in drew more than enough attention.

Juliana was at a table with some of her friends from work and a few girls that weren't. Maple was making out with a girl by the backroom, groping behind her for the handle. But Raine hadn't seen a glimpse of Morgan since they came in, strange considering what an attention craver he was.

Two arms snaked around her waits. "Those are some pretty tall boots." a male voice whispered in her ear. "Can you dance in those?"

Raine spun around, prepared to see another ugly, greasy, pimply hopeful. Instead, she saw a boy around her age, Morgan's height, London's build, with Sirius' eyes, and Remus' hair. Somehow he looked vaguely familiar. "Have we met?" she asked.

"If you don't remember me, how can I remember the answer?" he teased, pulling her tight against him. "Now . . . can you dance in those boots?"

Raine nodded. "I-I think so." she said softly, here face flushing. She was suddenly breathless.

"Well, let's find out." He let Raine put her beer down and led her out to the dance floor. "You're really pretty tonight, Raine." he whispered in her ear, his breath sending tingles down her spin. "I like your new hair color."

Raine stared at him for a moment. Then her eyes widened with realization. "Draco!"

* * *

Morgan was elsewhere. More specifically in the alley outside the club, smoking and exchange feverous kisses. "Ray saw us kissing." he said, lighting another cigarette.

Harry took another drag and said nothing for a moment, just lowered his eyes and kicked at the ground. "Will she say anything?" he asked finally, staring at Morgan with his penetrating green eyes.

"I doubt it." Morgan said, leaning in for another kiss that Harry gladly gave him. "Raine's not the snitching type."

Harry frowned. "Remind me why we're keeping this a secret again. I know you keep telling me, but I can't remember." he said, putting his cigarette out with the toe of his boot. Morgan handed him another.

"Maybe you can't remember because you're piss drunk." Morgan said, the same naughty smile Sirius was famous for adorning his lips.

Harry stuck his tongue out. "That was really funny." he said sarcastically.

"And that was really mature." Morgan chided. "We're keeping this a secret because our parents will assume this is just another one night stand and not let us date."

Harry nodded. "Let's go inside. I need to find someone with pills."

"You get high?" Morgan asked, eyes wide.

"No." Harry said, smiling. "I have a killer headache." Morgan heaved a sigh of relief. "Really had you scared, didn't I?" Harry teased.

Morgan punched him playfully in the arm. "Shut up."

* * *

"What are _you_ doing hitting on _me_? And why is your hair brown? And why are you at a Muggle club? And why-"

"Do you ask enough questions?" Draco said, shaking his head. "My hair's dyed so that nobody recognizes me and tells my father. I'm in a Muggle club because, face it, wizarding nightclubs suck. And I'm hitting on you because . . ." He closed the space between them with a kiss. "That a good enough reason?" he breathed as the separated.

"That's a mediocre reason." Raine said. "I think I'll need another beer before that's a good reason." She made to head for the bar, but was pulled back. "Yes?" she asked.

"I can she you a good reason." he murmured, his hand running down he bare back.

Raine burst out laughing. "That's one of the cheapest lines I've ever heard." She imitated a male voice. "'I can show you a good reason.' You are such a riot."

Draco grabbed her and pressed his lips to hers possessively. Once again Raine burst out laughing. "Okay, that one was a little bit better, but unless you shape up there is no chance of getting me out of this skirt."

"Who said I wanted to get you out of that skirt?" Draco said. "You think a lot of yourself. Does Daddy know one good kiss will get a guy anything he wants?" It took Raine a minute to realize he was joking. The cheeky grin that lit up Draco's face disappeared as soon as Raine smacked him, not hard and with a smile on her face. "What the hell was that for?"

Raine giggled. "Lack of something better to do?" She batted her eyelashes and ran her hand down his arm. "You should see me when I bite."

* * *

Morgan and Harry were heading to the bar when Juliana spotted both her brother and sister. "Morgan, come here." Her eyes narrowed. "Harry?" What are you doing here?"

The green eyed boy lied extremely well. "Morgan told me about it. I didn't know he was coming though. The whole grounded thing."

Juliana nodded and rolled her eyes. "Your parents are going to kill me." She lurched out and grabbed her brother's arm, pointing toward two figures in the corner of the club. "What on earth is Raine doing?"

Morgan gave a lopsided smile. "I hope she brought Dad's present."

Juliana smacked him. "Raine isn't _you_, Morgan. I'm not letting her lose her virginity to some random guy at a club that can't even spell its name right."

* * *

"How do you think the kids are doing?" Remus asked, tracing a finger down the side of Sirius' face.

Sirius smiled and wrapped his arms around his husband. "In some countries its illegal to talk about your kids after sex." Sirius' smile softened as he kisses Remus' cheek. "I'm sure the kids are fine. Juliana can handle them."

"Raine's just a baby." Remus whispered in a fearful voice. He buried his face in Sirius' neck. "How could I let them go that club? Maple and Morgan are one thing, but Ray . . ."

Sirius gently stroked Remus' hair. "Raine's a smart girl. She's not going to do anything stupid. She'll be fine."

* * *

Juliana tore across the club so fast is was as if she had Apparated in front of Raine. "And just where do you think you're heading off to?"

Raine giggled. "Ack balley." she slurred.

Juliana grabbed Draco's arm, although she didn't recognize him. "And you think getting a fifteen year old drunk is an easy way to get laid?"

"Actually, Miss Black," Draco said with a polite but arrogant voice, "I think it might be a good idea to get her outside to puke."

Raine was giggling and leaning against Draco as he lead her out of the club. "Ack balley." she said, bursting out in laughter. "Had a wittle moo tuch to drink."

"You think?"

She was promptly sick in a bush of gardenias. "Oops."

* * *

"Three weeks?" Raine asked in disbelief. "You said one week before."

Remus glared at her. "That was until you got so drunk you ruined your boots."

"_My_ boots." Maple said, glaring at her sister and father alternately.

"Whatever." Remus said, using a word he despised. Sirius hid a smile behind his hand. When Remus got this wound up it usually took 0hours0 to get rid of his excess energy.

"Go upstairs. All of you. Clean your rooms or something. Stay in your own rooms." Remus snapped, furious.

After the kids had left, Sirius slipped his arms around his husband's waist. He nipped on Remus' ear. "Maybe we should go upstairs, too."

Maple, Morgan, and Raine waited until their parents disappeared into their bedroom before they dashed in Maple's room. "They'll be at it for hours." Raine said. "Did you see how pissed Dad was?" Maple made a face.

"So, Ray?" Morgan said, lighting a cigarette. "How far did you get?"

"I puked on my shoes." Raine said dryly. "I don't think he was exactly begging to get his tongue in my mouth after that." She fanned the smoke away from her and coughed. "So, how did things go with you and your 0boy toy0?" She raised her eyebrows meaningfully.

Morgan looked at the wall and took another drag off his cigarette. "Fine." he said. "Nothing to tell."

Maple looked up from an article in the newest issue of 0Teen Witch Weekly0. "Boy toy? And who would that be Morgy?"

The boy shot a glare at his youngest sister. "No one special. Just some guy at the club." He got up and shut the door as the sound of a bed scraping the floor came flooding through the hallway.

"I've got a better idea." Maple said, standing up. "Let's go outside. I think I've still got that bottle of wine hidden in the shed. Bring that pack of smokes, Mor."

* * *

Harry was standing in front of his house, trying not to get caught with the cigarette in his hand. He looked up to see the twins and Raine sneaking out of their house, two of whom were smoking. Raine never really liked the idea of inhaling smoke. He caught Morgan's eye and the boy beckoned him.

"We've got wine." Maple giggled as Harry joined them by the shed. "Get grounded?"

"Yeah. Thank the gods Dad was there or Mom would have grounded me until I moved out. I got two weeks and I have to baby sit Vi for free the next few weekends. What'd you guys get?" He accepted the bottle from Maple and took a drink, handing it to Raine.

"Three weeks." Morgan said, lighting another cigarette. "But Mor and Ray still have their four weeks from the dating of older men."

"And I know you keep it under seventeen." Harry said sarcastically, trying to get his lighter to work. Morgan held his out and Harry leaned in to light his cigarette. Their eyes locked for a moment. A moment too long.

"Oooh!" Maple shrieked, clasping a hand to the mouth. "You're the boy toy, aren't you? Ray, he's the boy toy, right?"

Morgan's eyes went wide. For a moment it seemed he would deny it, but he finally sighed and put the lighter back in his pocket. "Don't tell them, okay?" It didn't take a genius to figure out he meant Sirius and Remus.

"Don't tell mine either." Harry said, softly. "They wouldn't get it, May."

Maple held two fingers up. "You guys know I can keep a secret. Please. Besides, Morgy here has so much dirt on me it's not funny."

Ray took another drink from the wine bottle. Somehow she felt that unveiling her love interest wouldn't go over so easy.

Raine hid the bottle behind her back as she heard the front door creak open. The other three quickly put out their cigarettes.

"Remus." Sirius whined. "Ground them later."

* * *

Okay. I hope you guys liked it. Give me some R&R. Any ideas? I know NayNymic wants a monogamous Harry/Morgan relationship, which I'm striving for. Anyone have any ideas for Maple? A Sirius/Remus idea? I'm open to any suggestions, although I'm not saying I'll use them. But so far I'm drawing on a blank on Chapter Five except that everyone's grounded and adding more Raine/Draco . . .

Hey, do you guys think I'm making Remus too much of a worrier? I picture him as a worrier but I'm worried no pun intended that he's too worrisome. I like it, but I don't know what anyone else thinks. And is Sirius' method of parenting too . . . I don't know . . . not parentish?

Hopefully Chapter Five's up before school starts on Tuesday! Luvverzz!


	5. Muggle Psychology

_Thanks to Shinigami, hornofgondor2, Vicky, Alriadne, moonyNZ & Cassandra. A **HUGE** thanks to NayNymic for her help with the whole school thing! Thankz for all the great reviews, guyz!_

_Oh, and changed the ratings system, so this is now rated T for Teen._

Chapter Five: Muggle Psychology

A few days later the twins and Raine received their school book lists. "We can go tomorrow. But you're all still grounded. This _not_ a social trip." Remus said, glaring at his husband who was crossing and uncrossing his eyes.

"What?"

Remus sighed and poured himself more coffee. "Why did I marry you again?"

Sirius cocked his head to the side as if thinking. "Because I'm so cute?"

"Yeah, that's it." Remus confirmed. Maple poked him.

* * *

Sirius ran a hand through his hair after he lit a cigarette. "I think Morgan's smoking." he told James. 

"Why do you think that?" James asked, looking toward his house. "I think Harry is, too." he said in hushed tones.

"He's probably getting them for Mor." Sirius took a drag. "Mine keep disappearing and Remus doesn't smoke the same brand."

"Maybe that's why he's so testy during the full moon." James joked. "Nicotine withdrawal." He took a cigarette from his best friend.

Two voices sounded at once. "I heard that." Remus said from the living room.

Lily was standing on her porch across the street, hands on her hips. "James Evan Potter! You told me you were quitting! And you don't encourage him, Sirius!"

* * *

"Uncle Remus?" Violet asked, latching onto the aforementioned man's arm. 

"Yeah, sweetie?" he asked, checking his pockets to make sure he had the key.

"Why does Uncle Sirius say you have a stick up your butt?"

Sirius grinned naughtily as Lily smacked him upside the head. "Why do you insist on talking like that to my daughter?"

"I wasn't talking _to_ Violet, Lil. I was talking in front of her." He scooped the younger redhead up in his arms. "To Harry." he added to spite Lily.

She smacked him again. "Stop talking to my kids like that."

"Mo-om." Harry complained. "I'm fifteen. I'm not a kid anymore." He grinned as Morgan winked at him suggestively from across the room.

"I don't care if you're twenty-six." Lily teased. "never listen to anything this man says." She kissed Sirius' cheek and followed James. "We're taking the underground to the Leaky Cauldron again."

"Why does Violet like the underground so much?" Harry complained.

His sister jumped on his back. "I'm a frog."

Sirius laughed and headed for the door, but Remus grabbed him. "Stick?" he asked. Sirius grinned. "You're not getting off that easy." Remus warned.

"Well," Sirius said innocently, "I can replace the stick with-"

Remus shook his head sternly. "The kids might hear." He kisses Sirius' cheek. "Let me know later."

* * *

Draco and Raine were affectionately intwined in the last aisle of Flourish and Blotts. Between fierce kisses and breathless gasps, Raien finally managed to ask a question. 

"Are you . . . serious . . . about . . . oh . . .me?"

Draco smiled at her. "Who, me? I'm not serious about anything."

Raine looked away. "I-I meant . . ."

Draco kissed her cheek. "Yeah, I know what you meant. And yes, I'm serious about you. As in monogamy, not marriage. I'm not crazy enough to marry you." he joked.

She leaned in and lightly bit his lip. "Good. Because your daddy would kill you."

"What makes you think he didn't?" Draco teased, releasing her.

"Because you would be dead." a cold voice said from the far end of the aisle. "Draco."

"Father." Draco said tersely. "Ray, this is my father, Lucius Malfoy. Father, this is-"

"Raine Black." Lucius interrupted, taking her hand and grazing it with his lips. "I haven't seen you in years, Raine. You look more like Bella than ever."

"With all due respect, Lucius." Raine said politely. Draco cringed inwardly as she called his father by his first name. "I've been told I resemble my father."

"Yes. Well, Sirius and Bella do share an ironic resemblance." Lucius said. "If I might steal my son, Raine. And when you see your father give him mine and Narcissa's greetings."

"I shall." Raine said through gritted teeth. "Have a nice day."

Draco turned his head as his father lead him off. 'I'll write you.' he mouthed.

"Oh no, you want." Lucius said in his coined 'soft and dangerous' voice. "Sirius married outside the bloodline. That girl is the daughter of a werewolf. If she tried to produce you an heir, you'd end up with dogs."

* * *

"Your hair's messed up." Sirius observed. "Where is he? You're grounded." 

"She's already grounded." Remus said, picking at his nails.

"Lucius and Narcissa send their greetings." Raine said in a mock prissy tone.

"Did you see them?" Sirius asked. "Merlin, Remus. Just Apparate home and get them. I'll met you outside the Apothecary."

Remus kissed him and DisApparated. "Cigarettes?" Raine asked.

Sirius nodded. "Did you see Lucius and Narcissist?" he asked.

"Dad, aren't you a little old for name calling?" Raine teased. "No. I only saw Lucius."

"Didn't I tell you never to talk to him alone?" Sirius demanded.

"He kind of . . . umm . . . snuck up on me." Raine said, coughing. "I need to get some food . . . for Sunny." she said, naming her owl. "I'll be back." She took off.

"Merlin." Sirius muttered, shaking his head and turning. Lucius was directly behind him. "Lucius." Sirius was with mock enthusiasm. "It's a . . . pleasure."

"As always, Sirius." Lucius said dryly. "Busy with family, I see. And filling them with such inane accusations against me? How laughable."

"I'm not laughing." Sirius said shortly.

"She looks more like Bella everyday." Lucius said, trying discreetly to push Sirius' buttons.

"Bella's a slut and Raine looks nothing like her." Sirius snarled. "Now get out of my way. I've got nothing to say to you."

Lucius raised a single eyebrow. "We may have a lot to say to each other shortly, Sirius."

"And what does that mean?"

"Well, if _your_ daughter keeps screwing _my_ son we may have a wedding to plan." Lucius said sardonically.

"And what does _that_ mean?" Sirius repeated.

Lucius smiled. "I should have thought the meaning would be perfectly clear. Your daughter and my son are . . ."

Sirius glared at him. "Liar."

"Why not ask her?" Lucius said, baiting him. "I was told that in your family, the children and the parents keep no secrets. And when you do ask her, please remind her that Draco could never marry her. We _are_ Malfoys after all."

Sirius glared at him. "And I'm not stupid enough to allow my daughter to enter into your servitude, Lucius. I know all about the Malfoy Brides."

Lucius smiled. "I never said you were. Cousin."

* * *

Sirius paced on the sidewalk, pressing a cigarette to his lips and removing it just as quickly. He sat down on the front stoop. "He's lying." he whispered to the darkness. 

Remus opened the door and slipped outside. "Sirius?" He sat down beside his husband and grabbed the hand that didn't hold a cigarette. "Baby, you have to ask her."

"I'm not going to do anything Lucius tells me to do." Sirius said bitterly.

"Now I'm telling you to." Remus said softly. "You smoke too much, Sirius."

"You're one to talk." Sirius said, a strained laugh coming out of his mouth.

* * *

"Raine?" Sirius asked, opening her bedroom door. "Are you asleep yet, honey?" 

"No." Raine said groggily. "What's wrong?"

"I heard something interesting today." Sirius said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "I thought maybe you could clear up a few things. I heard a rumor that you . . . umm . . . you're dating Lucius' son. Draco."

Raine sat bolt upright in bed. "Who did you hear that from?" she asked, her voice fearful.

"Lucius."

Raine ducked her head. "Daddy, I swear I was going to tell you. I just-"

"You _are _dating!" Sirius snapped. "Raine, do you know what he is? What his father is? How could you be so . . ."

"Stupid?" Raine said, finishing his thought. "Please, Daddy. Like your family was so much better. And would rather have me jump from bed to bed or be going with one guy?"

"If that 'one guy' is Draco Malfoy, of course I'd rather have you bed hop." Sirius said, his temper rising. "I can't believe you would . . . Raine, I thought you were smarter than that."

"I don't care if you'd rather have me date a dancing panda at the zoo, I'm staying with Draco." Raine snapped. "The only dating rule you ever had was age. Well, Draco's too months older than me, so you're screwed."

Sirius stood up. "You listen to me, young lady. I can change the rules if I feel like and I-"

"Sirius." Remus said from the doorway. "You can't. Now come to bed before you wake Maple and Morgan up. 'Night, Ray."

Sirius stormed out of the room. Raine heaved a sigh and laid back down. Remus rolled his eyes and followed his husband into the bedroom. Unfortunately, he and Sirius didn't react the same way to anger.

* * *

Raine took the platter of toast from her dad and passed it onto Maple. "Where's your brother?" Remus asked them. 

Maple bit the inside of her cheek. "I think he went across the street. He and Harry had something planned for today." Raine met her eyes for a moment. Maple looked away. She had personally locked their brother's room this morning. Raine rolled her eyes. Maple reached out and poked her.

Raine added creamer to her coffee and flipped through the comic section of the _Daily Prophet_. "I'm out of ink." she said, looking at Remus.

"Didn't you just buy some yesterday?" he asked. Sirius muttered something under his breath.

"Vanishing ink." Raine said.

"What did you use the last of that on?" Remus asked, glaring at his husband.

"I threw it out my window last night." Raine said honestly.

"And why did you do that?" Sirius asked, glaring at his daughter.

Raine glared back. "Because I saw you walking past my window and I was kind of hoping it worked on people."

Maple reached out and poked both of them.

"What on earth are you doing that for?" Sirius snapped irritably.

"Well, what crawled up your butt and died?" Maple asked, making a face at him. "Look, just because Ray's dating the son of a Death Eater doesn't mean 0he's0 a Death Eater. I mean, come on, Dad. Nature vs. nurture."

"Stop studying Muggle psychology." Sirius said.

"Sirius."

"Remus."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

Lily was sitting in Sirius' living room while Remus was out running a few errands. "Sirius, calm down." she said patiently. "At least you know who she's dating. I personally think it's better than if you couldn't keep their name's straight." 

"I have a good memory." Sirius said sighing. "Do you know what happens when-"

Something crashed on the floor above them. Both adults jumped up. Sirius sighed and headed up the stairs. "I thought Morgan was at your house." he said to Lily.

She shook her head. "No. I thought he was at _your_ house. Didn't he and Harry come over here?" They both exchanged a look as Sirius tried to open Morgan's door. He sighed and pulled out his wand, unlocking it. Bracing himself, he pushed the door open.

"Crap." Two teenage boys looked up from the bed, hair messed up but clothes still fully on.

"Dad, this isn't what it looks like." Morgan said.

"Downstairs." Sirius said. "Both of you. Now."

* * *

"You can't have affairs with your friends." Lily shrieked hysterically. 

"Mom, get a grip." Harry said. "It's not an affair."

"One-night stand then. Whatever." Lily said.

"It's not a one-night stand."

"What?" Sirius asked. "So what were you doing upstairs? Comparing kissing methods?"

"Dad." Morgan said softly. "We've been seeing each other for a week."

"Fine." Lily said. "Seven one-night stands."

"We haven't slept together." Morgan said. "It's not a one-night stand." Two pairs of eyes stared at him dubiously. "I mean it. This is why we didn't tell you." he said, looking down.

It was the first time Sirius saw a tear run down his son's cheek.

Harry slowly took Morgan's hand. "It's a relationship." he told his mother and Sirius. "A real one."

"As opposed to fake one?" Morgan said, his voice cracking as he tried to make a joke.

Harry kissed his cheek. "As opposed to a fake one." he whispered in his ear.

* * *

"So Ray's dating a Malfoy and Morgan's dating Harry?" Remus asked, collapsing on the couch. 

"What's the longest relationship Morgan's had?" Sirius asked, sitting down and leaning his head against his husband's chest.

"Three hours?" Remus guessed. "But Morgan always gets what he wants, remember?" Sirius shrugged. "He gets it from you."

"I always get what I want?" Sirius asked.

"Yes." Remus said.

"Well, you know what I want right now?" Sirius asked, standing up.

"I can only imagine." Remus said.

"I want a shower." Sirius said. He paused at the top of the stairs and turned around. "Hey, I didn't say I wanted to take it alone."

* * *

"Yes, we're going to the Summer Festival." Remus said. "You're not _that_ grounded." 

_Hey Ray,  
_

_I'll see you at the Summer Festival next week, right? Meet me behind the stage where they do the singing contests, all right? We can ditch our parents from there. My dad's not too happy about this and I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind skinning me alive. See you soon, RayRay._

_Love,  
Draco_

* * *

Okay. Next chapter we go to the summer festival. I hope it's funnier than the last one. Within the next few chapters they should be heading off to school. 

And . . . A twist. (Hehehe!) Okay, it might not a be a twist, persay, but it IS a surprise. A surprise I came up with as I was writing this Author's Note. Sorry, I'm a babbling brook today.


	6. Frenching the French, Branding the Engli...

_Sorry that it took so long to update. I had writer's block and I'm still stressing about prom._

_Thanks to: nuthouse, Umidori, Vicky, Cassandra, Xock, MoonyNZ._

_A huge thanks to my Beta: SALEM, YOU ROCK!_

_I made a quiz to find out which character from this story you are. Here's the link if you want to take it. You can send me a message on the site when you get your results if you want._

Chapter Six: Frenching the French and Branding the English

"I want you back in the hotel by midnight." Remus said. "No arguments." he added as Maple opened her mouth to protest.

Sirius grabbed Raine as she prepared to leave. "I know you're going to be careful." he said softly. "Hey may not be, but you what his father is."

Raine nodded and kissed his cheek. "I'll be careful, Daddy."

* * *

Closing kissing. That's what Morgan called it when you kissed until you literally were out of breath and you _had_ to separate. That's what he and Harry had done the second they snuck into the hotel.

Hands clumsily threaded through hair and roaming skin. Awkwardness stemming, not from lack of experience, but from fear of making this experience reminiscent of the ones before it.

And kissing without the expectation of sex was something Morgan hadn't in three years, and something Harry had _never_ done. Between gasps and blood rushing through warm lips, green eyes occasionally stared into amber orbs.

Harry finally pulled away. "It's too weird." he confessed.

"What's weird?" Morgan asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not having sex." Harry said softly.

Morgan grinned. "You're weird." he teased.

"I know I'm weird."

"I'm glad you know you're weird because _I_ know you're weird."

Harry frowned. "Morgan, shut up."

The blonde glared at him. "Wh-"

Lips met in a passionate liplock.

* * *

Between two buildings across the street another couple was locked together. Raine's arms were rapped around her boyfriend while Draco's were running through her blonde hair. Raine was pressed up against the wall of a building, her legs wrapped around her boyfriend's waist.

"You're beautiful." he murmured against her lips.

"I know I'm beautiful." Raine replied impishly.

"You're also a conceited bitch." he teased.

"I know that, too." she replied, smiling.

"And you know everything."

Raine paused for a minute as if thinking. "Now, I _didn't_ know that one."

He laughed and kissed her passionately. "Will you do something for me?" he asked her.

"Depends on what it is."

"Will you were my letter jacket?" he asked. "I get it next week."

Raine nodded. "Of course I will." She kissed him deeply. "Of course I will."

* * *

"You annoy me." Remus said to Sirius, a slight smile on his face.

Sirius pretended to be offended. "Me? Annoying? That concept is beyond me. How could I do such a thing? I'm incapable of annoyance."

"No, you're not." Remus said laughing. "You've been annoying me since I met you."

"But fell in love with me." Sirius reminded him, grabbing his husband's hands and smiling.

"I plead temporary insanity." Remus teased. "It came with the bite."

"I'll give you a bite." Sirius muttered under his breath. He looked up and released one of Remus' hands and tried to lead him away with the other. "Let's go."

Remus shook his head. "Sirius, stop acting like a child. We're in public and his son _is_ dating your daughter."

"Lucius." Sirius said as the man stopped before him. His blue eyes were storm clouds.

"Sirius." the man said, grey eyes glittering malignantly. His eyes barely rested on Remus. Remus remained silent. That was how things usually went during these situations. Lucius and Sirius talked as briefly as possibly while Remus and Lucius pretended the other didn't exist. Lucius wouldn't lower himself to acknowledge a werewolf.

On this day, however, surprises were going to be abundant.

"And how is your daughter?" Lucius asked coldly.

"Which one?" Sirius asked, his voice dangerously pleasant.

"Raine." Lucius said, cool but with an unmistaken edge to his voice that reminded Remus of a frozen razor blade.

"Still dating your son." Sirius said, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

Lucius took a step closer to his wife's cousin. "I told you to make sure that - that damned half-blood, half-breed slut stays away from my son."

Remus grabbed Sirius' arm. "Don't." he hissed.

"If they every tried to have children, the gods forbid, I would prefer that my grandchildren not be dogs."

The blood drained from Sirius face as started toward Lucius, reaching for his wand. Remus pulled him back with surprising force. "No. Sirius, let's go."

"Of course, that's why _you_ carried the children, Sirius." Lucius snapped. "Honestly. Lowering yourself to the place of a woman." That got no response as Sirius had _begged_ to have the children. "And four out of your five children have the same fucking problem as you two did." He paused. "Well, you still do as a matter of fact. Of course, Lupin," Remus started at being addressed, "you had no control. Werewolves mate for life, correct?" There was no response.

"Tell me, is homosexuality hereditary. Because I understand you have two fags and two dykes running around. And the other little-" His words were cut off as a fist connected with his jaw.

Remus and Sirius hurried off. Sirius grabbed Remus and kissed him. "I can't believe you just did that." he whispered.

Remus smiled weakly. "I can't either."

* * *

"Well, would you rather him have sex with a stranger every night?" James asked.

Lily pouted. It never got Lily her way, but it turned James on and that always lead to a great evening. It was how both Violet and Harry were conceived.

James wrapped his arms around her waist from behind as they slowed to s top in front of the stage. "You're beautiful." he said, kissing the top of his wife's head.

Lily tilted her head back to stare into his eyes. As James lowered his lips to kiss her, she crossed her eyes. "I'm a frog." she said, then burst out laughing.

"A cute frog." James said without missing a beat.

"You're a frog too, Mummy?" Violet asked as she approached her parents with Remus and Sirius, who had claimed her for the past hour and a half. Violet was riding on the latter's shoulders.

"You seen any of the kids?" Remus asked. "We saw London and his boyfriend." he made a face. "They got tattoos."

"I saw Raine." Lily said. "Th-She was looking at jewelry."

"And Morgan's with Harry." James said. "I saw them a little while ago."

Lily pulled away from her husband and put her hands on her hips. "And why didn't you inform me of this?" she demanded.

"Because I knew you'd react like this." James said. "And I wanted to piss you off." he added mischievously. "Did I complete my mission?"

Lily glared at him. "You are such a pain in my arse, James Potter."

Violet giggled silently from her perch on Sirius' shoulders. "Which one do you want?" Sirius whispered to his husband out of the corner of his mouth.

"Lil." Remus whispered back. "Give Vi to Juliana. She's at that table behind you."

* * *

"She's freaked out." James said. "Because of their histories."

"She thinks they'll break up and their past will complicate everything." Sirius finished.

James took a drink of his beer and nodded. "She's pretty . . . hormonal right now." He leaned in toward his best friend. "Lily wants another baby."

Sirius stared at him. "Do you?" he asked.

James traced an invisible pattern on the table top. "I don't think it's going to happen." he said softly.

"How long have you been trying?" Sirius asked.

"Three months." James answered. "That's when she started freaking out about Harry having sex."

"Let me buy you another beer." Sirius said.

* * *

"They both used to sleep around." Lily said. "I don't know. It just seems strange that they want to be monogamous all of a sudden."

"How many girlfriends did James have before he started dating you?" Remus reminded her.

Lily smiled slightly. "You think they're in love?"

"Stranger things have happened." Remus said.

"I don't know what I'm worried about." Lily said finally. "Morgan always gets what he wants."

"Meaning . . ."

"If he wants a monogamous relationship with Harry, he'll get it."

* * *

But people hate to admit they're wrong. "Arse." Lily said, glaring at her husband and stealing his beer.

James glared back. "Bitch." he said with obvious fondness and a grin on his face.

* * *

"This isn't funny." Lily said from the other side of the door.

"No." Sirius agreed, barely able to contain his laughter. "It's hilarious." He chanced a glance at his husband and they both burst into fits of laughter.

Inside the closet, Lily huffed and sat down crossly on the floor, glaring in the direction of James in the dark.

"What's going on?" she heard a few distinct voices--Violet, Harry and Morgan among them--ask.

"We've locked your parents in the closet." Sirius said, sounding like himself in school when he'd just pulled a prank.

"What did they do?" Violet asked.

"Well," Sirius began, picking her up, "your mum was being a right pain in the--"

"Sirius Black!"

"And your dad's in the closet to cheer up you mum." Remus added. "It's six. Why don't we head down to dinner and give Lily and James some space?"

"Remus Lupin, don't you dare." Lily warned.

The brunette man grinned playfully at his husband. "Come on, Pads, I'm hungry."

* * *

James reached out to grab Lily's hand and ended up with her foot. He reached out again and--

"Merlin, James! What the hell are you trying to do? Gouge my eyes out?" Lily shrieked.

"Could you raise your voice a little higher? You might succeed in deafening me."

The hotel room door opened and Lily heard Raine rummaging through her parents' luggage. "Raine, honey?" she asked. "Will you open the door?"

"Who locked you in there?" Raine asked, still looking through the suitcases. She seemed completely unperturbed.

"Your fathers."

Raine found the notebook Remus had taken from her and opened it up. "It's called Blank Page." she said. "Opens in two hours." She knocked on the closet door as she prepared to leave. "Be good." she teased Lily.

"Raine Rose Black!"

"Love you too, Lil."

* * *

"How many outfits did you need to bring?" Draco teased as Raine dug through a cedar chest of drawers.

"These aren't my clothes." Raine informed him. "They're Maple's." She held up a bright-green dress with the stomach cut out. "What do you think of this?"

"I think you'll look hot in it." he replied with testosterone laced conviction.

Raine put her hands on her hips. "You."

"You." he repeated, standing up and walking over to his girlfriend. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "You are beautiful."

Raine looked confused. "Didn't we have this conversation a little while ago?"

"Yeah." Draco confirmed, kissing her.

"So why are we having it again?" Raine asked.

"We're not." he said.

"Yes, we are."

"No, we're not."

'Then what are we doing?" Raine asked.

Draco smiled and pressed his lips to hers.

* * *

"I can't believe they locked us in the closet." Sirius said.

"Well," Remus began, "you did lock them in the closet first."

"But I haven't been in the closet since I was eleven." Sirius protested, pouting.

"Well," Remus said suggestively, so long as we're in the closet . . ."

He need to say nothing more.

* * *

"You're hot." a tall pimply boy said to maple as she bought a beer.

Maple rolled her eyes. "Please. Even if I was straight, that lame pick up line would rate you as a negative two on a scale of one to ten."

"Wait. You're a lesbian?" Pimply Boy asked. "So, you like . . . Kiss other girls and stuff?"

Maple grimaced. Why mean were obsessed with lesbians she'd never understand. "I'm a lesbian. Lesbians typically kiss other girls."

"Do-Do you have a website or anything?"

"A what?" Maple asked. "Like a spider web. What's that got to do with anything?

"Can I see you kiss a girl?" he asked. "I'll pay you."

"Do I look like a fucking prostitute?" Maple snapped. "Now go away before I hex you."

A redhead ran over to Maple. "Oh gods, Mae. You have to come with me. There's some French girls at the bar and--wow. Let's go."

* * *

All it had taken were a few suggestive words from Morgan and he and Harry were in chairs getting ready to have. "Why Muggle tattoos?" Harry hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

"Because they always check age for magical tattoos." Morgan hissed back.

"What design do you want?" the tattoo artist asked Morgan.

"J.H.P." the blonde said. "Initials."

"Your boyfriend over here?" the artist asked, gesturing at Harry. Morgan smiled. "How long have you two been dating?"

"Long enough." Morgan said happily.

* * *

"What's that?" Remus and Lily asked simultaneously, pointing at Morgan and Harry's wrists as the two boys entered the restaurant, holding hands.

"I'm grounded." Morgan admitted, shrugging with a huge grin on his face. "But it's worth it."

"Me, too." Harry echoed.

"And why would you be grounded?" James and Sirius asked at the same time.

Raine breezed in and sat down by her dad. "Lucius Malfoy's a prick."

"I could have told you that." Sirius said irritably.

"I got Frenched by a French woman." Maple told Juliana, sitting down at the table.

"What?" Sirius and Remus demanded.

"Hey, you got a tattoo." Raine said to London.

"Hey, I did too!" Morgan exclaimed.

"WHAT!" all four adults screamed.

The grins on the boys' faces disappeared. "Shit."

* * *

_So, the next chapter the kids start school. School is a little different in my story. The kids stay all week and then get the option of coming home on the weekends, although they don't have to. _

_I haven't yet decided if any of the parents will be professors. If so I'd probably pick Sirius or James. Which one do you think? Or both? And if both, which class besides DADA?  
_


	7. Detentions and Secrets

_Disclaimer: Hey, if you guys think I own this stuff . . . unfortunately, you're wrong. Everything is J.K.'s except my OC's: London, Juliana, Morgan & Maple, Raine, and Violet. Steal them and I steal your soul and keep it in a jar by my bed. (I'm up to three.)_

_Thankz to all my reviewerz: Vicky, MoonyNZ, woodnymph123 a new reviewer, Cassandra, and where's boo another new reviewer. If forgot anyone, I'M SORRY! I can't keep track of who I've thanked and who I haven't. Big Shout Out to my Beta Salem! You're the best! Oh, and thanks to Stephanie. Her help won't be apparent until next chapter though._

CHAPTER SEVEN: DETENTIONS AND SECRETS

"See you this weekend." Remus said, hugging all of his children.

"If you forgot anything just send an owl." James said, ruffling Harry's hair.

"Be good." Lily kissed each of the four children on the cheek. "And I mean it."

Sirius kissed Maple. "Don't get pregnant." Then he kissed Morgan. "You don't get pregnant either." He looked at Harry. "And you don't get my son pregnant." The raven-haired boy blushed scarlet. James turned a laugh into a cough as Sirius turned to look at his youngest child. "You be good, get detention, and for Merlin's sake dye your hair back." He kissed her cheek.

The four teenagers hugged Violet and then got on the train. "See you this weekend." Raine called out the window.

Once the train had disappeared, Lily turned to her husband and Sirius. "Don't you think you should have told them?"

"Nah." Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Scaring the hell out of them is half the fun of being parents, Lil." Lily snorted, but didn't protest as James kissed her. "Let's go."

* * *

Morgan, Maple, Raine, and Harry entered the Great Hall. Ron and Hermione entered seconds later, running to catch up with the other four. Raine looked up at the staff table and her jaw dropped. "Mor? May? Harry?" The three—plus Ron and Hermione—followed her gaze. "What are Daddy and Uncle James doing up there?"

* * *

"Professor Minerva McGonagall has taken a year off. Professor James Potter wil be replacing her for that time. He will also serve as the Gryffindor Head of House. Professor Sirius Black will be taking the Defense Against the Dark Arts post."

All three Black children laid their heads down on the table, Harry covered his face with his hands, and several students laughed at the four teenagers' reactions.

Sirius and James were mumbling things to each other under their breath. Severus was looking particularly displeased.

"So," Harry said, "my dad and your dad are going to catch us smoking, catch you sneaking out to meet girls," he pointed at Maple, "and are going to catch you sneaking out to meet . . ." He shuddered, looking at Raine. ". . . your boyfriend."

"Seems like it." Maple said dully.

Raine rolled her eyes and moved to put some food on her plate. "It's you guys who have to worry, not me. I'm the good child."

Morgan snorted. "Good child? Oh, yes. You may not be having sex, my dear, but you drink and smoke as much as the rest of us do. And you will, of course, eventually be having sex this year."

"Says who?" Raine demanded.

"Me. You _do_ have a boyfriend now, after all." Morgan said. "And I may not like the idiot, but he is pretty good looking. Ow!" He glared at his boyfriend who looked at him innocently. "What the hell'd you step on my foot for?"

* * *

Sirius had just lit up a cigarette when James walked into his office. "Want one?" he asked, holding out the box.

James snatched one up and lit it with the end of his wand. "How long till one of them gets detention?" he asked.

"It depends on how quickly they have Potions." Sirius said, flopping down on the couch. "I'm sure Snape will take his revenge on us through them."

"And how are you going to retaliate?" James asked, already knowing the answer.

"Through the Slytherins, of course." Sirius said, laughing.

"Raine's going to kill you if you do anything to her boyfriend."

"Nah."

"How long till one of them sneaks out?" James asked, trying to steer the conversation away from dangerous waters.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Why time they're supposed to be in their dorms."

* * *

"Absolutely lovely schedules." Raine said sarcastically. "Daddy, Uncle James, Snape, and Trewlawney. Just smashing." She turned to her brother and sister. "how about you two?"

"Herbology, Transfiguration, Magical Creatures, and Muggle Studies." Maple said. "So we get Uncle James."

Morgan was busy putting on eyeliner and mutter things Harry couldn't understand in French. He was also swearing in Latin at all the people throwing dirty looks and remarks at Raine. _"Futue te ipsum! Vae!"_

The bleach blonde was wearing her boyfriend's letter jacket and ignoring the words other people were throwing at her. "Traitor." "Tramp." "Malfoy whore."

Finally, Raine simply stood up, grabbed her bag, and walked serenely to the door, her head held high. The doors slammed behind her and James gently stepped on Sirius' foot. "Don't he whispered, his voice barely audible. "She's fine and she won't thank you for it."

* * *

"OWLs can affect the jobs you get and what NEWT courses you can take. So, yes, they have more weight that pure torture." James said to a rather annoying Ravenclaw.

"We're going to be working on Vanishing Spells. You've each got a snail . . ."

* * *

Sirius was having a much more amusing time in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He had a bunch of first-years and his blunt sarcasm was scaring them.

"No, vampires don't suck your blood. They have a tendency to eat your eyeballs and have a fondness for Potions." Sirius smiled inwardly even though he knew Remus would scold him for it later.

* * *

Morgan and Harry had managed to skip out of the range of Madame Pince's watchful eye. Their study hall was now being spent kissing next to dusty volumes no one had touched in years.

"You think this'll have to stop now that our parents are at the school?" Harry asked between kisses.

"We've got the Marauder's Map." Morgan whispered, his lips brushing Harry's ear. "I think we can keep them in line."

* * *

Maple knew her parents would ground her for skiving off Transfiguration, but she really didn't care at the moment. She simply needed a cigarette and it was easiest to avoid teacher when they were all teaching.

"Can I bum one?" a redhead asked, poking her head around the three.

"Jesus Christ, Virginia." Maple cried after she quit coughing. "Don't do that. You scared the hell out of me."

Ginny giggled and held out her hand. "Can I bum one?"

Maple handed her a cigarette and lit it with the end of her wand. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?" she asked the fourteen-year-old.

"Free period." Ginny said, exhaling. "Aren't _you_ supposed to be in class, Mae?"

"Ditched." Maple said coolly. She pulled a flash from her pocket and opened it, taking a drink. She then offered it to Ginny.

"What's in it?" the redhead asked cautiously.

"It's just VO, Virginia." Maple said in a patronizing tone.

Ginny snatched the flask from Maple's hand and took a large gulp. "I'm allergic to bourbon." She informed Maple. "Otherwise I wouldn't have asked."

Maple nodded and accepted the flask back. "I see." She lit up another cigarette.

"So, what's it like having your dad and James teaching?" Ginny wanted to know. "Do you have to call your dad Professor Black?"

"I don't plan on calling him by any name." Maple said. "I sure as hell am not calling my dad 'Professor'. And I wouldn't know about Uncle James because I'm supposed to be in his class right now."

Ginny nodded. "I see." She giggled. She was a small girl and alcohol took hold of her pretty quickly. She sa down on the ground and took another drag off her cigarette.

Maple sat down beside her and took another drink from the flask. "Your brother know you drink and smoke?" she asked.

Ginny snorted. "Please. They don't even know . . . well, anything much about my personal life, come to think of it." She laughed and leaned her head against Maple's shoulder. "I am going to be in s_uch_ a good mood today."

"Yeah, until tomorrow morning, doll." Maple said, laughing.

"I don't get hangovers." Ginny said seriously. "And I have been drunk many times."

"And who do you go drinking with?" Maple asked.

"Dates." The redhead said simply.

Maple groaned. "Men."

"Men." Ginny agreed in an exasperated voice. "I'm not too keen on them right now, to tell you the truth."

"Romance problems?" Maple teased.

"They're dicks." Ginny said bluntly. "And that's all they care about."

"Their dicks?"

"Yes." the red head said impatiently.

"So, I take it you're still a virgin?" Maple asked, taking a drag off her cigarette.

"I most certainly am not." Ginny snapped defensively.

"Keep you hair on." Maple said, handing her the flask. "I was just asking a question."

* * *

Raine, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting in Transfiguration working n Vanishing Spells and trying to ignore the fact that James was in the room. Well, Ron and Harry were working on Vanishing Spells. Raine and Hermione, who had both managed to make their snails disappear—and had earned ten house points—were trying to help Ron and Harry.

"It's more of a flick." Hermione said.

"Yeah, flick." Well, Raine wasn't much help. She was flicking on an empty snail shell about the desk and ignoring glares from her follow students.

"The bell's going to ring." James said. "Just throw the snails in this box and practice the spell tonight, or at least pretend to." The class laughed, minus Raine and Harry. "We'll work on this again tomorrow."

"Well, he's not a bad teacher." Hermione said fairly as they were heading to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"He's my dad!" Harry cried incredulously, glaring at her.

"And here's mine." Raine said as they aw Sirius standing in front of their classroom. Teachers were supposed to stop any magic they saw in the corridors, but he seemed to be enjoying the barely visible duel between two Slytherins.

Raine sighed. "Daddy," she said under her breath, "you have to stop that fight."

Sirius jumped about a foot in the air, having nearly forgotten where he was. "Right. Stop the fight. Yeah." He took off half-heartedly down the hallway.

"What was Dumbledore thinking?" Raine demanded as they entered the classroom. "he's like an overgrown kid himself."

"If I were him I wouldn't mind seeing two Slytherins trying to take each other out." Ron said.

"But then a Slytherin would have to be a winner." Harry reminded him.

"Oh, yeah."

Hermione shot them a death glare and then cast a meaningful look at Raine, who was determinedly not saying anything.

"Hey." Harry tapped the blonde's shoulder. "Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, uh . . . your jacket . . . on Quidditch ma—"

Raine glared at him. "You know me better than that. I want Gryffindor to win every Quidditch match we have. And I will not wear my jacket on Quidditch days unless we're not playing."

She turned her head toward the blackboard as her father shut the door and sat down behind his desk. "I'm Professor Black. I'm your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I'm supposed to be teaching you the information that shows up most often on your OWLs. Today we'll be starting with one of the most basic, yet useful, spells, Stunning. Tomorrow, Shield Spells. Then basic hexes and curses. You should all have with those. Counterjinxes after a month or so. Some dark creatures. So on and so forth.

He waved his hand. "There are cushions along the floor as I'm sure you've noticed. Divide into pairs and practice Stunning. Hermione come up here for a minute and do a demonstration with me."

* * *

"Aww, fuck it." Raine said in an uncharacteristically profane manner. She pulled a cigarette box from her drawer and lit one with the tip of hr wand.

Hermione let out a shriek. "Raine, you can't smoke! You'll get cancer!"

Raine snorted. "Wizard cigarettes." She informed her friend. "No harmful side effects." She sat down on the bed as Hermione tentatively sat down on hers. "So," Raine said with the air of someone getting read to gossip, "when are you two going to start dating?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Which two? Me and who?"

Raine laughed. "You and Ron, silly. Now, if you're too shy to ask him out, I'm sure can handle playing matchmaker for a day or two."

Hermione leapt onto her feet. "You're insane." she said.

Raine calmly lit another cigarette. "You wouldn't be getting so defensive if it weren't true. You'd just be laughing like the time I accused you of having a thing for Harry."

Hermione sighed and sat back down. "Look, maybe I do have a thing for him, but he quite obviously doesn't have the same feelings."

"For once, Hermione, you're wrong." Raine said happily. "It just so happens that Ron _does_ have feelings for you."

"And how would you know?" Hermione snapped.

"One, it's obvious. You know how upset he gets when you talk about Victor. Two, you fight like you're married. Three, his best friend is dating my brother. I know things." Raine explained, her eyes lit up.

"BS."

"Actually, it's true. And I'm pretty sure you know it's true." Raine glanced at her wristwatch. "Damn." She looked up at Hermione. "Look, think about what I said. I've got to go."

"Where exactly are you going? It's past curfew." Hermione said in her prefect tone.

"To meet my boyfriend." Raine said, putting on some perfume and running a brush through her hair. "See you."

"Rules." Hermione reminded her.

"Polyjuice Potion and spying on prefects in the shower last year." Raine added in a sing-song voice.

Hermione blushed as Raine left the room.

* * *

"You look great." Draco said after he and Raine had kisses. They were in the locker rooms at the Quidditch field.

"Thanks." Raine said, blushing.

"Why do you blush whenever I tell you that?" Draco asked. "You know you're beautiful."

"You're right." Raine agreed. "I'm the sexiest bitch to ever walk the face of the earth. I shouldn't be blushing whenever you comment on my looks. I should be forcing you to your knees so you can worship me."

Her and Draco coth burst out laugh. Then, a blur. He pressed her against the wall and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and returned the kiss.

So it went for an hour before a breathless Raiend ecided she need to stop. "I have to go." She told Draco.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because something might happen here that I don't want to." She answered honestly.

"You know I would stop if you said 'no'." Draco said, sounding hurt.

"That's the problem." Raine said, heading for the door. "I don't trust myself to say 'no'."

* * *

"You shouldn't have said that." Remus said from the fireplace to Sirius' head.

"Oh, please." Sirius said. Then he pouted. "Can't I just come over there for five minutes?"

"No." Remus said.

"Why not?"

"Because five minutes will turn into ten and ten to an hour and before you know it . . . morning." Remus said with a smile. "How long are the kids.'"

"Maple skipped out on James' class. Morgan and Harry have been making out all over the place. Raine's probably sneaking out to see that spoiled prat."

"In other words," Remus said, "you couldn't be prouder."

"Damn straight." Sirius said, grinning. "I couldn't stand it if they followed the rules."

Remus laughed. "Get some sleep, Sirius. You have seventh year Slytherins and the twins tomorrow."

* * *

"It's strange, Lil." James said from the fire. "Not only do I have to tell them what to do, they actually listen.

Lily smiled. "You never considered ever being a teacher, did you, James?"

James rolled his eyes. "You know I wouldn't' have taken this job if it had been anyone but Dumbledore asking."

"Daddy?" Violet asked sleepily, entering the room.

"Hello, precious." he said, smiling. "shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I need a drink of water." she said, yawning. "Momma, can you—"

"I should go." James said. "'Night, Vi."

"'Night, Daddy."

"Good night, James." Lily said.

"Love you, Lil."

"Love you, too."

* * *

"Stupid Dream Journal." Raine said at breakfast. "Last night I dreamed . . ." She paused for a moment. " . . . I dreamed two of my friends kissed."

Hermione shot her a warning glare.

"Which two?" Morgan asked, pouring himself more pumpkin juice.

Raine grinned impishly. "Well, they say if you tell that it won't come true. And I really want this to come true."

Hermione stomped on her foot, or at least she thought she did.

"Ow!" Maple complained. "Who the hell did that?"

* * *

Maple and Morgan entered their father's classroom with a minute to spare, taking animatedly about something that had apparently happened at breakfast. "She is such an amateur." Morgan was saying. "We should locked them in a closet or something."

Maple rolled her eyes. "I wonder where you go that idea."

They both sat down as the bell rang.

"Today," Sirius began, "we are going to start learning about the Unforgivable Curses."

* * *

Raine could never keep her mouth shut in Potions class. Her potion was the perfect teal and had the silver steam rising from it. She was now helping Harry with his potion while Hermione helped Ron with his.

"Miss Black, what do you think you're doing?" Severus Snape asked.

"What _am_ I doing or what do I _think_ I'm doing?" Raine sassed. "Because I currently think I'm dancing on the moon, although I could be wrong."

"Five points from Gryffindor."

Raine looked confused. "Five points? How many is five? Does that come before of after seventeen and a half?"

Snape glowered at her. "Give more points and detention tonight. See me after class."

"What if I go blind?"

* * *

Maple was now skipping Muggle Studies to have another cigarette and Ginny was ditching DADA to join her. Morgan was sitting across from the pair of them and Harry was sitting beside him, as he had a free period.

"Come here." Morgan said, beckoning Harry closer. He opened his mouth as if preparing to kiss his boyfriend. He blew smoke between the raven-haired boy's lips.

Harry coughed and swore. "What the hell was that! I thought you were going to kiss me!"

Morgan giggled. "No, silly. You're suppose dto inhale." He smiled. "Come on, we'll try it again."

While the boys were almost—but not quite—making out, Ginny and Maple were talking.

"So," Maple said, "you're not interest in blokes right now?" She took a drag. "Who _are_ you interested in?"

Ginny give the older girl a little smile. "Not girls, if that's what you're hinting at, Mae."

"How do you know?" Maple asked.

"How do I know what?"

"That you're not interest in girls."

"Well, how do you know you're not interested in guys?" Ginny challenged.

"I kissed on or two." Maple admitted.

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "So, you want me to kiss you and prove it?"

"Well," Maple began, "only if you want to, Virginia."

"You do that's not my name, right?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, I know." Maple teased. "I like Virginia better than Genevra, though."

"That' was my grandmother's name!" Ginny snapped.

"Sorry." Maple said with a hint of laughter in her voice.

Ginny grabbed Maple and kissed her with a all the strength she possessed. After the kiss, her eyes widened considerably. "Shit."

Maple smiled. "still not interest in girls? By the way," she informed the girl who was staring determinedly at the group, "you're probably not gay or bi. Most women don't mind being intimate with others."

"Shut up, Mae." Ginny growled.

Maple glared at her. "I didn't tell you to kiss me."

"You know I've had a crush on you since forever." Ginny snarled, not realize Harry and Morgan had abandoned their smoke game and were now staring at the pair of girls.

Maple hid a smile. "Well, I'm sorry you felt you just _had_ to kiss me, but I still didn't force you."

The bell rang before Ginny had a chance to reply.

"Shit." Harry said, picking up his books. "I've got Dad." He pressed his box of cigarettes into Morgan's hand. "Keep those for me, will you?" he coughed. "God, I smell like smoke."

Maple pulled a bottle of cologne from her pocket and sprayed Harry a few times.

"Thanks, Mae." Harry kissed Morgan. "Love you." He said, running back up to the castle.

"Love you, too." Morgan echoed. "Free period, right Mae?"

* * *

Harry burst into Transfiguration with just enough time to sit down. "God, Harry." Raine said. "how much cologne did you use today?"

"It was either cologne or smoke." Harry muttered in an undertone.

"Lucky bastard." Raine hissed. "I can't have one until after lunch."

Harry smirked at her. "Yeah, I know."

Hermione crossed her arms. "I can't believe you two smoke. It's so bad for you."

"Hermione," Raine said encouragingly, "You need to get laid."

* * *

"What?" Remus asked.

Sirius repeated what he had said.

"Oh my God. Are you sure?"

Sirius nodded.

"Oh my God." Remus jumped up. "I have to go . . . cook something."

* * *

"Daddy's acting weird." Raine said. "Did you see him in class today? Have gave everyone points for breathing correctly and told me he was so happy that _I'm_ happy with Draco."

"Well," Harry teased, "if it's any consolation, I'm _not_ happy that you two are happy."

Raine stuck her tongue out at him. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"He was practically glowing." Maple said, lighting a cigarette.

"Well, he's too old to be pregnant." Morgan pointed out. "Maybe Julie's pregnant."

"Or London." Raine suggested.

"No, London uses protection." Morgan informed her.

"How do you know?" Maple demanded.

"Because I use the same kind he does." Morgan said.

"Do you mean 'we'?" Maple asked. "As in you and Harry?"

The younger boy blushed, but Morgan just grinned. "We haven't had sex yet."

Everyone's eyebrows advanced a little higher toward their forehead, but Raine shrieked in mirth. "That's _so_ cute!"

"What's wrong with _YOU_?" Maple asked her younger sister.

Raine just shook her head mysteriously.

* * *

"You're too cute." Sirius said to Remus. "you've got flour in your hair."

"And no one to cook for." The brunette replied. "Lily and Violet have been coming over for supper, but I don't think an army could eat this much food."

Sirius smiled. "We'll just have to see about that. I got a hold of London and Julie. Wednesdays have been witched to Fridays until further notice. And apparently we'll have lots of leftovers to eat."

Remus smiled. "When re we going to tell them?"

"Julie already told London, but he swore not to tell Morgan, so we should be okay." Sirius assured him.

"How far—"

"A month and a half."

Remus nodded. "So, that's the middle of July." His eyes widened.

"Exactly." Sirius confirmed.

* * *

"Cheers." Raine smiled as she took the shot of vodka.

"You know, most people say that for champagne and wine, not vodka." She commented.

"Have you ever tasted champagne or wine?"

"Point taken." Raine agreed.

Draco kissed her. "I love you."

"I love me, too." She teased as she kissed him. "I mean, what's not to love? I have a good personality—"

"—great tits—"

"—nice ass—"

"—great lips—"

"—good in bed . . ."

"Whoa." Draco said smiling. "Haven't gotten that far yet."

"Well, would you like to?" Raine asked in a way that didn't make the question serious or joking.

"Would _you_ like to?" Draco asked in a too-polite tone.

"Maybe." Raine teased. "Are you a virgin, Dray?"

"Maybe. Are you?"

"May. Do you want to have with me?"

"Maybe. Do _you_ want to have sex with _me_?"

"Aww, hell no!" Raine giggled and pressed her lips against her boyfriend's. "Just kidding, Dray . . . Maybe."

* * *

Raine showed up to breakfast on Friday in need of aspirin. "Seriously," she begged her brother, "this is so much worse than a headache."

"Are you sore?" maple asked.

"Did you get laid?" Harry question her eagerly. Then he remember who Raine would have gotten laid by. "Tell me you didn't get laid."

"I didn't get laid." Raine said. "But I can pretty damn close." She gave Morgan puppy dog eyes. "Pills. Please."

Morgan complied when Harry kissed his cheek.

* * *

"How did you end up spending your detention?" Ron asked Raine as they entered Potions class.

"Don't know." Raine said nonchalantly. "I ditched to go make out with Dray."

The other three made faces, but none came close to the look Snape gave her. "I though I gave you detention yesterday, Miss Black."

"You did." Raine said evenly. "I had a previous engagement."

Draco caught her eyes and fought a laugh.

Snape's eyes darted from one to the other. His favorite student vs. The Smartass. "Five points from Gryffindor and double detention." He said icily. "Now sit down before I make it fifteen." His eyes rested on her jacket and he blanched noticeably.

* * *

"See you Sunday night on the train." the three Black children and Harry said to Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.

"How are you going to serve your detention, though?" Hermione asked Raine.

The blonde grinned. "I'm not."

* * *

_Sorry, it was so long in coming. Great plot point sprung up and I had to work it in!_


End file.
